DR. PLAGUE

THIS IS A SCIENCE FICTION STORY SET IN A LABORATORY ABOUT DOCTORS THAT DO NOT WORK TO HEAL CALL THEM DR. PLAGUE AND HIS ASSISTANT LEPROSY AS OUR TALE OPENS THEY ARE ENGAGED WITH THEIR LATEST RECIPE. A PINCH OF CANCER A SMIDGEN OF T.B. SHAKE THIRTY SECONDS FOR INCREASED CONTAGION PLEASE ONE TEASPOON SMALL POX A HALF CUP OF STRONG BUBONIC TEA THROW IN SOME MUTANT D.N.A. FOR IMMUNE DEFICIENCY. OH, DR. PLAGUE WON’T YOU PLEASE COME QUICK I THINK THIS LAST BATCH REALLY DID THE TRICK THE MICE ARE ALREADY STIFF IN THEIR CAGES SIR AND THE MONKEYS ALL LOOK MIGHTY SICK. WELL DONE LEPROSY I WILL INFORM THE GENERAL MIX UP A GALLON OF THAT STUFF WHILE I PUT THROUGH THE CALL OH HELLO GENERAL YOU’D BEST FLY OUT TODAY A BREAKTHROUGH YES AND WE CAN TALK ABOUT THAT RAISE.

OH DR. PLAGUE DO YOU THINK WE’LL GET TO SEE HOW OUR CREATION COULD AFFECT HUMANITY CLINICAL RESULTS ARE WELL AND GOOD BUT I BELIEVE IT’D BE INFORMATIVE TO SEE HOW PEOPLE HANDLE THIS DISEASE. NOW LEPROSY DON’T YOU WORRY DON’T YOU DOUBT I’M SURE OUR FRIEND THE GENERAL HAS SOMETHING FIGURED OUT UNDER THE GUISE OF VACCINATIONS OR A SIMPLE VIRAL BREAKOUT AMONGST FAGS BLACKS FOREIGNERS OR OTHER WORTHLESS LOUTS. OH DR. PLAGUE I AM SWORN TO SECRECY BUT I’LL BE SMILING INSIDE BELIEVE YOU ME WHEN ALL THOSE UNAMERICAN TYPES BECOME TOO BUSY JUST SURVIVING TO INFECT OUR CHILDREN’S IDEOLOGY. YES LEPROSY AND YOU KNOW I HAVE A HUNCH AMERICA HERSELF WILL COME TO CONGRATULATE US FOR KEEPING HER SAFE AND HEALTHY FOR GOD’S GOOD SERVANTS WASH YOUR HANDS NOW BOY LETS GO TO LUNCH.

THIS IS JUST A LULLABY I DO NOT CLAIM IT’S REAL BUT I DO KNOW THERE ARE DOCTORS THAT DO NOT WORK TO HEAL WE PAY THEIR SALARIES IN APRIL EVERY YEAR AND THEN SLEEP EASY IN THE ARMS OF OUR NIGHTMARES.

Spring 95 NOLA
© 1995